It happened in the kitchen during a house party...
I have a dear friend who gives wonderful dinner parties. For the past two years, when it is time for me to leave, he regularly whispers in my ear, "I need big bowls, please make them for me. I will pay you!" I nod and promise, his wife urges him not to put my on the spot, and then I laugh, "soon I will have what you request." However, I suffer from a problem I am about to describe and I am really interested to know if this happens to you...
If I have a particular fondness for someone who asks me to make a specific pot, I often do not follow through with the request, or at the least, take far too long to deliver. Why? I find myself striving to make the perfect pot, which awakens my inner critic. With every attempt, that voice lets me know, "this is not perfect", which of course is true, for what is? I will cave in, realize the truth of the statement and think, "Oh, I'll just sell these to some anonymous person and the next batch will be closer to the perfection I seek-in the end, my friend will be glad to wait on something better...
Then came the big whammy...
Recently, my friends were over for dinner, and out of nowhere, right in the middle of my kitchen, he says,"Renee, I release you. Before coming over, I was looking at all the beautiful pots I have bought from you in the past, and I realized I have enough. I do not need anymore. I have the perfect amount and I release you from any requests for additional pots." My heart immediately started beating faster and I grew red in the face. I had the urge to fan myself and was at a loss for words. I found myself saying, "But wait! What are you saying? Again, he said, "I release you."
I knew it was a simple case of reverse psychology, but I found myself reacting nonetheless. The next day I woke up and thought, "Damn it! I'll make more than he can ever want and leave them on his lawn! Enough, indeed!"
In the end, it lit a fire and while I still find myself thinking the next batch would be better, I can see that I must get off the treadmill and meditate on wabi sabi.
These bowls are destined to live in Pete and Susan's house, and I can't wait to deliver them.
5 comments:
special orders are a nightmare for me...guilt, trauma, kiln gropple, etc...i keep vowing to stop taking them but somehow they keep creeping in...urgh. i devoted a blog post to it earlier this year.
Great story. Clever guy. I'm sure he will love them.
This I understand!
Oh my you have said so much of what I feel and what the dilemna is in all of us. Your bowls are beautiful and most worthy in my eye, much more than mine I am sure.
You're the first person i've ever heard put that into words. but YESYESYES!
I've been there, I kinda hate orders like that. Because it's always about trying to make the perfect something for that person. And that's not what you yourself would make,ohhh.
And it often ended up with me avoiding friends, or desperately hoping they wouldn't mention... "Oh, by the way, how's the teaset coming along?".. aaargh.
As I sit here, I think of Dave and Sharon's wedding present. They've been married twenty years this year. I promise, I'll get around to it soon.
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